Inuit Goddess Sedna

Sedna named for the Inuit goddess of the deep seas. Becomes “Skeleton Women,” thrown from a cliff by her father, whom she had displeased. She sinks to the bottom of the sea, preserved as a skeleton, until a fisherman catches her and brings her up to the surface. In his attempt to flee from this frightening apparition, he only drags her along. Back at his home, he overcomes his fear of her. Feeling stirrings of compassion, he carefully untangles her bones and long hair, and then falls asleep. While sleeping, he cries a single tear. Skeleton women crawls toward this tear and eagerly drinks it up. She reaches into the fisherman’s chest, takes out his heart and beats upon it like a drum, calling out “Flesh! Flesh! Flesh!” As she sings, the flesh returns to her bones; life returns to her. She sings the clothes off the fisherman, replaces his heart in his body, and lies down next to him, “skin to skin.” They awaken the next morning, wrapped around each other tightly

Down Tim3

Waiting wanting needing
What?
Anything everything nothing
Indecisive doubts
Petty Pathetic nasty cruel rage monkeys
Beating my cranial cortex
Fallibly attempting to fuck it all up
I Breath
It is all ok
Patiently lingering yearning for tim3
Trapped in this box of plaguing perpetual withdrawal
Is it ok
Is it gone
Is it lost
Is it abandoning
Or is it doubting
Tim3 will tell
Down tim3 to wait and bleed

Solitude

Alone, misunderstood and miserable, battling myself from within the dark recesses of my own cerebral cortex. I look at the world through empty glass eyes. Watching, hearing, knowing others as they interact amongst each other, paralyzed, I hide within the deep dark shallow shadows of my own self created incarceration. The anxiety, like boots of concrete, pulls me under as I drowned in my own self pity, denying myself any true joyful interaction. Black cold numbing emptiness hindering any contact with humanity. Oh how I yearn to feel and freely express unconditional love toward another human being. Bound behind a solid grey stone wall memories of loss, abandonment and ridicule suppress any hope of escape or recovery from this bleak prison. A slave to the vampires of my history whom bled me dry of confidence and self worth, ever haunting. How will I survive under this on sloth of misery and pity, is there salvation for the likes of me? I want to cry but a life time of conditioning has disabled this meaningful emotional reflex of relief. Creeping death my only confidant in these, the dark days.

Rebirth

Alone I stand atop a green grassy hill side, fresh air untainted dancing and playing among trees exposing the barren auburn full moon, encircled by a pure white blazingly bright halo around its entirety. I inhale deeply its true love given freely, unconditionally, without hesitation it fills my lungs spreading and seething like blood in water threw my ethereal body of living energy, blood, soft and hard tissue. Oh how I loath and love the sight my betrothed mistress mother in her pure prime. The beast awakens with a sigh and stir deep within my belly. Not even the heart or soul of a diligent warrior can encumber this beasts inferno of passion, blood and rage. I attempt to subdue the rebirth of this monstrosity in vein, it will not be denied its mother mistress’s call to arms. First my torso, contorting my innards in agony then snapping and stretching my ribs, limbs and cartilage in a performance of pain and pleasure. Trans loosened skin tearing, searing and stretching from my once feeble bones, sloathed away in a shower of screams tears and blood, I rip away what remains of my humanity exposing raw hairy hid till nothing of true old human self remains other then a steaming pile of nutrients, plasma and frailty. Reborn, the monkey is replaced by a pure creature of prey, passion and mindless mayhem. I see now through feral eyes as though I had never seen before, such clarity only an angel of god could possibly see the world in such transparently bold colors. I look to the sky hearing the birds of prey squawk and caw celebrating the return of my true form. Inhaling once again I smell the planet and its inhabitants with such an intense pungency I begin to salivate ……… Flesh

Invoked By A Godform

Topless towering columns spawning as far into the night as the naked eye can perceive. Above black voided space speckled with planets, rocks, gases and god forms, whom hold the secrets of Time. Below scattered rotting gutless exposed feminine cadavers bearing horrified expressions of contorting terror witnessed in the final moments of existence. I look unto myself that is not myself but another self a transparent self of non-corporeal material, bio-energy, intention, vibrational impulses temporarily absorbing thousands of dreaming souls aimlessly wandering the ethereal dreamscape in a single moment. In the instant of invocation I feel and know this immensely powerful beings deepest desires, intentions and animalistic unquenchable urges as it performs the godly actions of millennia’s come and gone. Wearing a harder then leather skin vest the being reaches for its unprecedentedly massive manhood with one hand and a disgusting female carcass with the other. Violently raping, penetratingly violating the tight lifeless female cadaver’s pelvic area until it is torn in half spraying soft tissue everywhere. Its manhood growing ever larger never to ejaculate, continuing till the end of time.

This was a dream I experienced a year and a half ago. It was so vivid I will never forget it.

Remember, remember the sight we saw, my soul, that beautiful, soft summer morning round a turning in the path. A disgusting carcass on a bed scattered with stones, it snakes in the air like a women in need. Burning and sweating poisons like a fountain with its rhythmical sobs, I can hear it clearly flowing with a long, murmuring sound. But I touch my body in vain, to the wound I am a vampire of my own heart. One of the great outcasts condemned to eternal laughter who could no longer smile …… am I dead?

Time to Regurgitate Some Emotinal Rigamortim

Sometimes I wonder ‘How will I die?’ and ‘after I’m gone will anyone notice or miss me?’ at times I doubt it. I don’t do much anymore these days or at least it doesn’t feel like I do much other then work and right now I’m unemployed so I can’t even do that. My ability to meet new people seems to be fading. Not sure if its due to all the drugs I had and have been doing or if all the malcontent for humanity and people in general is catching up to me in this sad sad state of being that I have created for myself in these last 27 years on this rock we inhabit and call home. There has to be more. I keep coming back to this time and time again to the point were its become utterly redundant. Cycling back and forth threw the same scenarios over and over. Why are we here? Is there a grand plan or are we all just the products of our own self creation. It is said that life is a learning lesson. Eat, sleep, make love, have meaningless sex, work, take your dog for a walk, check the mail, walk threw the local shopping center, class is always in. But there is no grade no mark no percentage for the lessons we “should be” learning, there is only repeat till you pass. I have ‘explored’ different religions, belief systems and paradigms over these last few years seeking the truth. Born into an atheist family my first taste of conviction came after the age of 5 when my old neighbours started taking me to there fundamentally driven Christ church. I learned a lot from these people that my parents couldn’t or wouldn’t be bothered to teach me. Mostly how and Too defend myself physically, there is where the ‘born and breed to fight’ mentality came into play. At the time I never realized this but the maternal motherly figure of this caring, loving and mixed up family once sat me down and told me after a deep conversation that no matter how angry or frustrated I get she believed that I don’t have a hateful bone in my body. At the time it meant nothing. Skipping ahead a few years to my 17th 18th year I was all about science that was all I believed in. Oh how blissfully ignorant I was in those earlier years, from that spawned the national socialist. At times I regret adopting that paradigm but others I’m thankful. I regret it cause whenever I tell people about it they instantly shun me without listening to reason and I lose the respect of so many, on the flip side I’m thankful cause that is were I truly learned I don’t have a hateful bone in my body. It is undeniable there is good in this planetary reality as much as there is evil and until you have tasted both how can you be anywhere but surrounded and trapped in GREY. Does this grey zone lend you the authority to pass judgement to anyone that sit outside the Grey’s limited tunnel vision. Or is it I who should be passing judgment? No that’s not it, that would mean I’m no better then they are. So I sit here in my rejected state of being faced with an empty loathing for these limited minded monkeys. Maybe seclusion would suit me more. The life of a reclusive hermit verses that of a nomadic adventurer. I know that in only a few years time the world will shake and every foundation, no matter how strong, will crumble not only the sculptures dreams come to life but those of faith and religion will fall. I keep asking myself where do I want to be and what skills and attributes do I want to have when this time comes to a climax. I don’t know but I have to choose and choose soon. But am I too late? Have I dilly dallied too much and missed my calling? It feels as though I have missed so many chances at everything that I have used up all my get out of jail free cards and I’m left in this void to be swallowed up during the transition from the current de-evolved state to the next new state of transhuman evolution. From all my research and experiences threw the years I have come to the conclusion that yes it is true your state of mind combined with your separate thoughts do have a weighing impact on each and every souls lives, but one thing that weighs even more on the mortal mind and soul is each and every individual action we take. For every action there is a reaction. I read on a bill board once 10% situation 90% reaction now this could be taken a few different ways but it is relating to peoples perspective now who is looking at the situation and from which vantage point is the reaction being observed? If its an external observer observing the reaction how are they viewing it objectively or subjectively. The situation is it controlled or chaotic objective or subjective. So many weights. How does one act and or even react in such a materialistic world? Do we seek to be integrated and accepted by the government, the gangs, the law, the popular people that clutter our schools, job sites, streets, halls and malls? Or do we live our lives outside the box deep in the ‘rejected zone’ of non-conformity. I keep asking myself these questions time and time again, however, sometimes I think I know the answers only to find it was a fleeting moment of enlightment only to come crashing down to the doubts and misconceptions of this miserably depressing reality.

In terms of social engineering, I think that, you know, you think of yourself as being in a story, and life will start to have the kind of dynamics that you would have if you were in a story, rather than if you were part of some dire laborious mechanism, you know…

Meet Your Speaker

I will start with the formality's. I am a 27 year old Caucasian male living alone in a one bedroom apt in Edmonton Alberta Canada. I am currently unemployed (who's your HERO that's right i am). I am a thinker, a dreamer, a revolutionary ideologist, an observer, a father, a friend, a confidant. In these last few years i have experienced more then most people will in their intire lives. The point of this blog is to share the experiences and ideas i have realized pertaining to my own life in the hopes to inspire and shape anyone bold enough to read these words with an open mind.



Are you ready to step out of the box down the rabbit hole and threw the doorway into a new alternate reality